Today, I am at my fattest.
What used to be a 24 inch waist, has now expanded to 27! I had to totally revamp my closet because nothing fit anymore. And giving away my clothes was extremely difficult -- especially this little black Ralph Lauren cocktail dress which I grudgingly gave up because I realized my waist will never be as it once was (enjoy the dress jam, I know you'll do justice to it!). Thank God, my cup size increased as well! At least, I'm still proportioned. I have become fuller, broader... yet happier. I am at my heaviest yet, surprisingly, my happiest.
All because of motherhood.
Whenever I meet people whom I haven’t seen in years, they’d say, “Ang taba mo!” Uncouth, I know, but I don’t blame them. After all, they’re used to this image of a thin Pam. Unnerved, I smile at them and say, “this is what you call progress.”
Honestly, despite being miffed (for a few minutes) whenever I hear this, the realization that I feel happier and better about myself erases any trace of despondency. I especially love it when my son Marcus would shout, "Mommy, sexxxxyyy!" or Ivan, in his "lambing mode" would cuddle me and say, "ang sexy mo". Their opinion are the only ones that matter anyway!
Anyhow, I'm sure the coming holidays and the food trip galore will add a few more pounds to my "ballooning" figure but I don't even care. I have my everlast sweatsuit, my punching bag and jump rope to help me shed the extra pounds.. That is, if I have the time to exercise. But then, if I don't.. If i find myself a few pounds heavier, a few inches thicker around the waist, I need not fret. Happiness isn't about weight at all -- it is feeling good about yourself, despite the many changes your body undergoes. It is loving every inch of your body -- imperfections and all.
Right now, I am happy with the way I look and the way I feel. No excess fat can make me feel otherwise, especially since my two boys constantly tell me I am the sexiest mom in the world.
This is indeed, irrefutable: motherhood becomes me.
